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Writer's pictureCarla Franco, MA, LMFT

"How to Recognize if Your Partner has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and What You Can Do"


Are you in a relationship with someone who seems to have intense and unpredictable emotions? Do they constantly seek reassurance and worry about being rejected or abandoned? Are they impulsive and engage in risky behavior? And does your relationship feel like it's constantly on a rollercoaster ride?

If you answered yes to these questions, it's possible that your partner may have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I know, it can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's important to understand the signs and symptoms so that you can help your partner and take care of yourself.

One of the things that can make it challenging to be in a relationship with someone who has BPD is their intense emotions. It can be hard to know how they'll react to things, and sometimes it may feel like you're walking on eggshells. But it's important to remember that their emotions are real and valid, even if they seem disproportionate to the situation.

Another thing to keep in mind is that people with BPD often have a fear of abandonment, which can lead to them acting out or becoming clingy. If your partner is constantly seeking reassurance from you or getting upset when you're not available, it may be a sign that they're struggling with this fear.

One of the things that can be particularly challenging about BPD is the impulsive behavior that often comes with it. Your partner may spend money recklessly, engage in risky sexual behavior, or use drugs or alcohol to cope with their emotions. It's important to remember that this behavior is a symptom of their illness and not a reflection of their character.

Lastly, if you feel like your relationship is constantly in flux, with your partner idealizing you one moment and then devaluing you the next, it may be a sign that they're struggling with BPD. This push-and-pull dynamic can be exhausting, but it's important to remember that your partner is likely not doing this intentionally.

If you suspect that your partner may have BPD, it's important to encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. With the right treatment, people with BPD can learn to manage their symptoms and have healthy relationships. And remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your partner.


Carla Franco, MA, LMFT



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